New fatherhood is a matter of focus. What matters the most in any marriage? The love of husband and wife. It goes without saying, but when it goes unsaid, it's easy to forget. And that doesn't change when baby #1 arrives. It becomes more important.
The role of a new father is to serve his wife. That's it. You may think "I can't do anything, she has to do all of these things, all I can do is change diapers, etc." Yes--there is truth there. Mother Nature is sexist. Mothers dominate when it comes to breastfeeding, nurturing, and emotionally attaching. Fathers tend to think that they are relegated to support duty in many areas. And while that is true, it's a destructive perspective that leads many husbands to lazily refuse to do all that they are able to do.
You can change diapers. You can get your wife a cup of water with a straw when she is breastfeeding. You can learn different ways of holding your baby so that you can help to calm it when it is upset. You can learn to use the 5 S's of calming a baby for naps and nighttime put-downs: shush, suckle, swaddle, shake (jiggle, for everyone who just rended their garments over the term), and side-turn.
You can take the baby for a walk so that your wife can take a nap.
If your wife uses a breast pump, you can clean all of the pump parts. In fact, you SHOULD clean all of the breast pump parts--pumps may be awesome in terms of the flexibility that they offer to breastfeeding moms, but they are inconvenient, cumbersome, and deserve to be hated by those who must use them on a daily basis. Your wife has to use the pump to fill the bottles--she should never have to clean any of those damn parts. That's like having the same person do the dishes after cooking every meal--it's an unfair arrangement. Be a man, not a male: make it fair.
Monday, November 21, 2016
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
BACKLASH
Trump's victory was a backlash against political correctness. The left created Trump's supporters--he literally could not have won without the left.
Accusations of racism, sexism, and a countless number of -ism and phobia labels created Trump's supporters, and every effort to double down only drove more people to join them. The racist wall, his sexist words--his politically incorrect nature attracted people who have for many years been told that they were racist or sexist for holding thoughts that were deemed to be offensive.
Every new accusation from the left alienated more people--even those who considered themselves liberal and left-leaning--as each new accusation held a heightened offense over a smaller and/or more specific grievance. Trump greeted them with open arms by showing them that you can, in fact, say what you believe--and you don't have to give the time of day to those who would rather label you. That's exactly what Trump did.
Cultural appropriation. Misogyny. Islamophobia. Xenophobia. Racism. Sexism. Bigotry. The list of labels kept growing, and the brush used to apply these labels got wider and wider as the election went on--and it eventually got so wide that the very people who applied the labels could not avoid being labeled themselves. Amy Schumer comes to mind, as she was accused of cultural appropriation when she made a parody of a Beyonce song.
Political discourse is dead when you accuse large segments of the population of being racist. And when your side keeps finding new ways to kill discourse, you're going to lose. You're going to lose debates, you're going to lose people, and you're going to lose elections. Third party voters didn't elect Trump--you did.
Accusations of racism, sexism, and a countless number of -ism and phobia labels created Trump's supporters, and every effort to double down only drove more people to join them. The racist wall, his sexist words--his politically incorrect nature attracted people who have for many years been told that they were racist or sexist for holding thoughts that were deemed to be offensive.
Every new accusation from the left alienated more people--even those who considered themselves liberal and left-leaning--as each new accusation held a heightened offense over a smaller and/or more specific grievance. Trump greeted them with open arms by showing them that you can, in fact, say what you believe--and you don't have to give the time of day to those who would rather label you. That's exactly what Trump did.
Cultural appropriation. Misogyny. Islamophobia. Xenophobia. Racism. Sexism. Bigotry. The list of labels kept growing, and the brush used to apply these labels got wider and wider as the election went on--and it eventually got so wide that the very people who applied the labels could not avoid being labeled themselves. Amy Schumer comes to mind, as she was accused of cultural appropriation when she made a parody of a Beyonce song.
Political discourse is dead when you accuse large segments of the population of being racist. And when your side keeps finding new ways to kill discourse, you're going to lose. You're going to lose debates, you're going to lose people, and you're going to lose elections. Third party voters didn't elect Trump--you did.
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