Why do you miss me? Stop waiting for me to fix this--only you can make a positive difference in our relationship.
Here's a short list of ways:
Go to marriage counseling. You're not going to listen to anyone in this family when they try to help. You can't tell the difference between sorrow and guilt at this point--and without remorse, you're just behaving.
Schedule your own doctor appointments. Don't make someone else do it; take responsibility for your own life.
Cook meals, pay the bills, and do the laundry--basically, if you don't feel like doing a task at your house, that's your cue to do it. Your wife treats you like a toddler because she believes you'll fall apart if she doesn't do literally everything for you. Is she right?
And tell everyone to stop speaking for you. They offer nothing more than excuses anyway.
The truth of the matter is that this could be fixed in short order if you would put half as much effort into healing our families as you do into finding the best price on fence posts. And if you come back with "I'm going to try harder, and we're going to take it slower," remember this: an alcoholic who drinks less, or slower, or in a more relaxed fashion is still an alcoholic.
You need to change. Drastic change.
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