For many people, it's too late to change. It's too late for them to recover. Their body or mind is too far gone to heal itself. You see these people in dialysis or nursing homes for a while, and then they are gone. At some point, your body can no longer heal itself, and your mind can't find its way back.
You are not one of those people. You have taken steps to get your body back to a self-healing status, and your body has responded. You have highs and lows--and while you don't always seem to know where you are, you do know where you don't want to be. While that doesn't necessarily help you find your destination, it does help you know the areas to avoid. Sometimes that's what success looks like--I know, because much of my success is due to nothing more than simply avoiding disaster.
Your body will recover remarkably as long as you continue to choose what is good.
Your mind will find peace if you spend time in the company of those who have your best interests at heart.
And the fact of the matter is that there really isn't a third direction. You can go back, or you can go forward. Staying in the same place is the same as going back. Back takes you to a place you know. Forward takes you to a place that you've either long forgotten, or--worse yet--never known. Regardless, you know that you want to get better. You want to keep your blood sugar under control, lose weight, find peace, and love and be loved by those who matter most.
I can see these things. I'm not in a perfect place, but I am moving forward. It is ironic that I say this at a time when I am ten pounds heavier than I have been since college, but it is true--physically speaking, I am doing better than I have in years. And much of that is due to my mental state. I have learned to avoid those things which cause me stress due to my lack of control over them, and I have found alternatives which do not control me. When I first started my business, I was a man on an island. As I have moved from working with stressed individuals to working with professional clients, my stress level has plummeted. I went from feeling like everyone was going to sue me to believing that everything was going to be okay, and that progression continues to this day. It is no coincidence that I am now eating wheat and dairy without a second thought.
In the process, I have learned to rid myself of many habits. These habits included a vehicle, a few people, and countless personal decisions which I wish I would have given up years ago. I can't turn back time, but I can say without hesitation that clarity of mind with an older body can achieve more than clouded youth ever could. Besides, there will soon come a day when I look back on this day in the same way that I look back on my twenties.
You can do this, too. I'm not saying you can change--you are you, just as I am me. I can't be you any more than you can be me. But you can repair damage. You can change your habits, and those changes will literally move your mind from chaos to peace. You can walk away from the things that hold you back. You can choose what frees you over that which owns you. You can come in out of the weather and place yourself in the shelter of those who would help you become the best that you can be, rather than dealing with those who will reject even your best.
There may be a limit to how much you can walk away from many things, habits, and people, but there is no end to the effect that your efforts can have for you. Your demons will always be your demons--any addict can attest to this. An alcoholic can't rid the world of alcohol, but he can wake up every day and act in such a way as to maximize his chances of avoiding alcohol. You can't make your demons disappear, but you can minimize your exposure to them. That is something you must do every day for the rest of your life.
At the start, it will be impossible. You will wake up and think of nothing but going back to your old ways. But if you seek the company of those who want what is best for you, then you will give yourself a chance. Every day that you spend time with those people is a step away from where you are and a step closer to where you need to be. And this isn't just for you--you are doing this for everyone who loves you. I am one of those people. I would not be who I am today without you. And I don't just want you to be alive--I want you to find peace. I want you to have no pain. I want you to sleep well, breathe well, walk well, and do things that you enjoy. You've spent a lifetime suffering--and if you don't want to spend the rest of your years doing more of the same, it will have to start with a choice to make the changes you need to make.
I am here with you. I will help you make those changes.
-A.S.
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